Hurdle, or opportunity?

I want to talk about overcoming bumps in the road.

For me, today is one of those days most of us have that makes us feel like we have failed. For me, this can be a variety of things. It can be a long run in which I had a distance goal and had to walk halfway through. It can be a bad grade on a test. It can be working extremely hard to abolish disordered eating thoughts, only for them to be on the front of my mind for days. It can even be feeling as if I did not treat someone the way I would have wanted to be treated.

3 phrases I’ve used in the past 2 hours:

“Just one bad thing after another”

“I cant catch a break”

“why doesn’t my hard work ever get recognized”

“If only [this one particular thing had been done differently…. Then I could have [had a different outcome]…”

“its not FAIR”

It’s the Jewish new year today. A day that I devote to prayer, and hope for a new year. I think about the great things about the past year, and the things that I could do better. Usually it is a period for self reflection. This year, I decided I wanted to focus on being more positive than I was the last. I am not a negative person, but always want to improve on finding the bright spots in situations, opportunities, and people (Im getting to the point I promise).

It is ironic, or maybe it isn’t, that today I experienced a rejection that I was far from expecting. On one of the holiest days of the Jewish calendar where we are to focus on self reflection, self betterment. Where we are inscribed in the book of life for [hopefully] a good year to come. Today of all days I was faced with a challenge to my grand hopes of positivity… and I think there is a reason.

Now, when these things happen I react. Sometimes I notice first shock, and anger, and sadness. The anger portion is the one that scares me the most because I look for a scapegoat. Who can I blame this on? Because It sure as hell isn’t my fault, there must be someone whose fault it is. After a few minutes of anger comes the sadness, and the self pity. But today, amidst my sadness and self pity, I remembered what day it was.

Its ok to be angry and its ok to be sad. Sometimes life plays us cards that are not in our favor and we are always allowed to feel and it is always valid. I do not want to preach an eternal positive attitude. That is impossible. However, I am consistently tasked with altering my interpretation of those feelings as well as my subsequent reactions. Although what happened today makes me feel angry, and it makes me feel very sad, I realize now that I am being given a challenge, and challenges help me grow! The way I move forward from this situation will teach me lessons that I can take into my future career. Instead of putting blame on others I will advocate for myself. Instead of sulking I will wake up tomorrow with a plan to do all I can to rectify the situation.

Now, this is all easier said than done. I can think of a few situations in my life where I have felt disappointed and let down and there was nothing to be done. My personal opinion is that when faced with challenges, the most difficult thing is to remain positive. Emotions can feel like a black hole that cannot be escaped. That feeling will not go away, cannot go away without coping mechanisms. Sometimes for me its writing this blog. Other times its talking it out. And other times still its simply a good cry and then I’m out the door to proceed with my day. The point is if distraction is what is needed to move forward in a positive manner, than distraction is what is necessary, even if only for 30 minutes of your time. Right now I feel better, but I guarantee you tomorrow morning I will have to work on positivity all over again. But its work im willing to put in to face this challenge and overcome it.

So on this brand new Jewish new year, I am going to work on one thing in particular. I will take all the bad runs, bad grades, disordered thoughts and bad attitudes and approach those situations differently. When I am faced with hurdles, obstacles, challenges, or “bad things” in this next year, I will do my best to look at them as growth opportunities rather than an accumulation of events destined to bring me down. I will try and take these opportunities and learn from them rather than wallow in them.

So with that, Shanah Tova. Have a very sweet new year